Such events were usually packed with alcohol as if chambers of commerce or hosts understood how out of sorts many might feel with all that focused effort at being likeable.
Names were carefully scribbled on name tags, beers and glasses of wine were in tow, some people camped around the hors d'oeuvre table and waited to discuss the selection of cheeses or to dish out their very own cheesy jokes.
Yet there were always a few people who seemed entirely at ease, whose smiles were wide and contagious and whose laughter felt like a real blessing to everyone within earshot.
Commutes home were filled with reflection, introspection even. Some in attendance found themselves pondering what it would take to be more like those people – the unforgettable ones.
It turns out that someone in academia was noticing the same things and was asked those same questions from people who suffered through networking events.
What he revealed seems logical. There is no magic behind it. There is no secret potion.
Dr. George Everly discovered that what makes people likeable also makes them successful and he noticed seven core ways that people become unforgettable. What is interesting is that there is no faking these things and there is often no fast track – they just must simply be proactively developed over time. Practice, as they say, makes perfect.
He developed this list after over four decades of teaching and working with business people.
The Glass is Half Full
Optimistic people have a way of wiggling into peoples’ hearts and memories. The reason, he explains, is that human nature often defaults to the negative. So, when someone upsets that normal reaction – they stand out.
“Their optimism can be contagious. We feel better just being around such people. Compared to the pessimist, the optimist is a brilliant light in the darkness. Optimists may confuse us, but they are unforgettable,” he wrote.
Owning Your Responsibility
Those people who dodge responsibility and try to place blame on everyone else? They don’t make the good list of unforgettable people. Owning mistakes and being reliable are great ways to make an impact.
The Tenacious Win (Our Hearts)
They at least win their way into our minds and hearts, whether they actually “win” or not. Everly brought up Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Edison, Col. Harland Sanders (Kentucky Fried Chicken), Al Neuharth (USAToday) and Ray Kroc (McDonald’s) and golfer Gary McCord as examples. A sort of stubborn will to do things right and to find success stands out.
Confidence for the Gold
Everly notes that confidence is magnetism.
“Research over several decades has shown that self-confidence becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy predicting happiness and success,” he wrote.
Respect Lands You on the Next Level
Being respectful and courteous in a fast-paced world means making that small extra step to make someone else feel seen and appreciated. That kind of small effort can really improve your own life and the lives of others.
“Harvard professor William James once said the deepest craving of human nature is the desire to be respected and appreciated. Take time to read history and to consider others, especially the contributions they have made. If we respect others, in turn, we will earn their respect,” Everly wrote.
It’s All About Connection
Everly waxed poetic in a literal way with this one, by quoting John Donne, “No man is an island, entire of itself…”
He noted that research suggests that interpersonal support is the greatest predictor of human resilience. To be there for people, especially when they are going through struggles, is a great way to connect with them.
The Beautiful Buoyancy of Resilience
An ability to bounce back from adversity cannot be underestimated in life and that is why resilience makes the list. We admire people who dig themselves out of the trenches and find their happiness. It is a law of averages that life will kick us all in the teeth someday. We like to know people who get back up.
In all the years I’ve been in business and the countless networking events I have attended, I really have grown to appreciate the people who find ways to connect with others. While those events are sort of rapid-fire-try-to-make-good-impressions scenarios, impacting the lives of others at those events and, more importantly, in the greater business world, can pay dividends for years to come.